Just don't wanna get outta bed? Me either!

Ahhh sleep lol yes it took me forever to fall asleep but let me tell you I could sleep non stop if I was able! My sleep schedule flipped again so I'm asleep for the better part of the day and up at night. I had it fixed for a little over a week then one night staying up flipped it. Having my schedule flipped makes it much harder in my head to say "hey its time for breakfast ect.." so I get hungry because I forget to eat when I'm supposed to, take my meds and vitamins late because I forget. Just overall confuses my clock. You would think that since I'm normally a night person I would be used to it, but nope, I'm not. Plus I just received a literal book in the mail regarding my insurance that starts next month an its quite overwhelming. I need to see a Dr asap to get stronger meds for my newly discovered diabetes since I'm only on glucophage because I was waiting for the test results to confirm the diabetes. Since the results were much worse than I expected my old Dr emailed me and said I need to figure out how to see a Dr here before my insurance kicked in cause I shouldn't wait and said I'll be most likely needing insulin and at least on other pill to help control it. I wish I had a way to check my blood sugar, I'll hopefully have a way soon if I can afford the monitor and strips. Also I'm diagnosed with severe depression, anxiety, and agoraphobia. I refused meds for years up until recently because I was was able to control it for the most part. Unfortunately in the last year it has gotten so bad that it controls my life. And I finally gave in and asked for meds when I was able to see my Dr last month. The depression meds have helped quite a bit and I've been starting to slowly make progress. :) I have a long journey not only physically with the weight loss but also emotionally with my other equally as hard issues.

Hmm? Ever felt afraid to eat?

I'm sitting here and its 8:45pm and I've only managed to eat under 700 calories. I was diagnosed with severe uncontrolled type 2 diabetes recently and I need to do more research about it so I don't feel so bad eating. I'm trying really hard to eat healthy but at the same time I have to figure out how to eat healthy with uncontrolled diabetes that at the moment I'm not even able to monitor. I'm in so much pain still and so tried for no reason I'm debating on heading to bed for a nap. I wish I didn't feel so worn out all the time I have absolutely no energy anymore. Even when I'm eating enough or to much I have no energy. I think that it might be due to all the other health issues I'm having. I could sleep 24 hours a day if I was able to. Do you ever lay down to go to bed but cant fall asleep for hours because you are afraid if you fall asleep you wont wake up? That's how I am. I'm terrified of going into diabetic coma or having a massive heart attack I live everyday in fear of dying. I HATE living in fear and letting it run my life! One day at a time I will take control of this fear and not let it ruin my life. It's going to be a process but I will get there!